Fueling a Secondary Engine

          Goodness gracious, I more or less forgot about the fact that I have a blog. But to catch up with whats recently going on in my life, I have started my second year of college at Colorado State University, which already seems like time is flying out of the window. So far things have been seeming to go like a sinusoidal graph or a roller coaster with the ups and downs of stress peaking and then dissipating later. Every year of school that I go through follows a similar pattern in regards to my work ethic and the energy I have. I always start out strong and do all the readings and manage time very well, but then I start to want eat a good dinner or go hang out with friends, see movies, all of this starts to take the world of academia and put it on a back burner. This is especially the case when I only get around 7 hours a sleep every night, I am aware that to some people this is a very long amount of time, but I after awhile it sort of saps the energy from me. But then I usually have this point where it feels like I a starting to get surrounded by homework and reading and projects and I start to get the feeling of claustrophobia, like I'm drowning or being buried in it all. 

          This is the point where I can’t take it, I have always thought that I can do great things and when I’m going through this a little voice pops up in my head saying “Is this really how you want to go about being great.” When I am in this trough it feels like embers are warming up, getting hotter and slowly reigniting. I know if I really want to do something with my life I can’t just go through it not giving it my all. At this moment it feels like I throw fuel on to those embers of the soul, I pull that pan off of the back burners; I am ready for round two.

          So this is the point where I am at right now, I feel like I am a rubber band trying to stretched around four nails when my maximum is three. The embers are heating up, I can’t be satisfied by not giving it my all, I don’t want to look back later and say “If only I pushed myself a little harder.” Currently I am going to be part of an International Wildlife Conference Committee, I have started a new job, I’m trying to do well in all my classes and stay on top of the course work. As well as I am trying to plan two trips, one for a spring break road trip to Washington, and I am trying to plan a substitution for a summer course so that I may take it abroad somewhere.

         I want to do something with my life, I want to break away from normalcy and leave my flag on summited peak that hasn't seen footsteps for a while. With my life I really want to get the most out of it that I can. I know that this is going to require hard work and dedication, so with that I believe that I am ready to add some fuel to my embers and move off the perennial back-burner.